What does it mean…

In my life time, the one in which I’ve been an actor/director/writer, the holidays have always been a bit trepidatious.   Outside of all the anxiety that is usually associated with the holiday season: the gifts, the family gatherings, the hustle of travel and decoration and overeating, and so on and so forth… there is that moment that comes each year for us theatre folk, when we are faced with the terrible moment of being challenged.  So, you’re still doing theatre?  Gotten a real job yet?  How are you surviving?

These questions are never asked by our loved ones to hurt us, they’re asked in genuine concern and want of information. But in fact what these questions do is cause us, or me specifically, anxiety, pain, and in my earlier days doubt. Put all of that on top of the fact that there have been more then a few days in my theatre life when I got up not knowing where my next check was coming from, or how I was going to pay the rent, or on occasion, how was I going to eat.  Yet, thousands of theatre artists just like me continue to pursue the dream.

One may ask “why?” After all, let’s be honest, the likely hood of achieving fame and fortune is pretty small.  In comparison to traditional career paths the financial remunerations are sad at best and bleak in most cases. Yet, we persist.

No doubt a part of that has to do with the intrepid spirit, the belief that I will win, I will be the one that makes it, I will have the star on the dressing room door. But when you’ve been around as long as I have, you begin to see there’s more. The more is what really keeps all of us going – it’s the passion – the moments of connecting with an audience, knowing we’ve reached another soul, affected a life and caused a moment of remembrance.

My earliest recollection of being affected by theatre was watching Alistar Sim in A Christmas Carol.  By today’s standards, it’s a bit overacted and melodramatic, but I can still recall the chills and fear and the final joy. When I finally had the opportunity to play the part of Scrooge myself, I finally found my touchstone for the holiday season. Not only was I doing what I so deeply loved, acting, but in that show in particular there is a visceral connection to the audience more easily touched then with many others. Much of that has to do with the magic concocted by Charles Dickens, but I suspect more has to do with the searching that we all feel at this time of year.

As a publisher of theatre programs, I now have another view of the holidays.  I revel in the efforts of many diverse people and groups to bring some meaning and joy to lives all over the city.  Whether it be through comedy, another telling of A Christmas Carol, or some newly discovered holiday piece, everyone strives to grasp the feeling of season, and most importantly to pass that message on to our fellow man.

Now, I have the pleasure of seeing life from the perspective of time, and the years I’ve invested in theatre have paid me back in ways I can never describe. The greatest gift I received was that I learned it was better to perform and share then it was to sulk and fear the recriminations.  I learned in simple ways that when we touch others with our souls we get to hear their hearts and are more likely to find acceptance.  I’ve learned that repentance is a part of life and if we only do it once a year this is a good time to do it. And finally, and most importantly I’ve learned to give a bit of advice.

If you have a loved one or a friend that is out there trying to succeed in the Theatre, don’t ask them why.  Thank them, encourage them, for whether or not they gain great monetary fortune, they will assuredly gain spiritual depth, and in the end, that is what they will share with you.

Happy Holidays